5 Ways to Boost Civility in the Workplace

Posted on February 29, 2012 by Kathie Must
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Many say civility has left the workplace.  It may be due in part to the impact of pop culture or it may reflect the increased work demands that strain our patience. Whatever the causes, the drop in civility is troubling.  It creates an unpleasant, unproductive work environment.  Researchers link lack of civility to absenteeism, turnover and even workplace violence. Pier Forni, creator of the Johns Hopkins University Civility Project, has found that “Acts of violence are often the result of an exchange of acts of rudeness that spiral out of control. By keeping the levels of incivility down, we keep the levels of violence down.”

It’s not about avoiding conflict when necessary or about simply “pretending to be nice.” The Johns Hopkins Civility Project suggests it’s about three things — respect, restraint and consideration.  When we treat people with kindness and consideration, we show them that we value them as human beings, not just human doings. It’s what builds connection.  But good relationships don’t just happen overnight. Trust and credibility need to be earned.

To boost civility in your workplace relationships:

  1. Keep the person in mind. Take time to get to know your co-workers. Few gifts are greater than feeling known and understood.
  2. Be respectful, even in disagreement – or particularly in disagreement! It’s not the amount of conflict or disagreement, but how it is handled.
  3. Edit yourself – avoid saying every critical thought when talking about sensitive issues.
  4. Be aware of your own “hot buttons” and defensiveness. Self- awareness allows you to anticipate and manage your reactions. 
  5. Choose your issues wisely. Don’t argue simply for the sake of arguing. Stepping back and looking at the big picture gives a better perspective of the issues that really matter.

Don’t wait for someone to be nice to you. To quote Gandhi: be the change you want to see. One person can have a positive impact.

Related Posts

Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Posted in Relationships, Wellness, Workplace | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Three Steps to Help You De-Clutter

Posted on February 29, 2012 by Jennifer Berry
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

It’s almost Spring and beyond celebrating the end of winter and the promise of warm-weather activities, I start to get the itch to get my surroundings in order, and my thoughts turn to Spring cleaning. 

There is a real co-relation between clutter and our emotional state. Clearing away clutter can be freeing, but it is not always easy to do because clutter causes feelings of disorganization and being out-of-control, which further causes us to feel so conquered by all of our stuff that we don’t know where or how to begin. So, if you’re like me and are feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of de-cluttering, here are some steps to help motivate you to rid yourself of clutter:

Step One: Unclutter Your Thinking.

  • Recognize that every article in your life demands your time, space, energy, resources and money. You have to take responsibility for each and every item you own. If you own a car, you have to devote your energy to maintaining that car. Every item on your shelf, you have to dust. Every piece of memorabilia, you have to store.  Be aware of how much time, space, energy, resources and money your things are taking from you and question whether you want to invest so much in those things.
  • Consider how your accumulation of things affects the environment. The more you buy, the more you have to eventually dispose of. When you purchase something, be aware of the throw-away packaging, the plastic, the cardboard that goes along with your purchase. Think about the energy and resources that were used to manufacture and transport that item. Ask yourself where will that item be in five years?  And buy good quality items that last.
  • Take stock of how you accumulate clutter. Plan your purchases rather than spending on a whim. Pause before you buy something – leave the store for thirty minutes and ask yourself, do I really need it? If it’s on sale for $5, ask yourself, would I still buy it if it was $20? Am I being seduced more by the price than the item itself?
  • Realize that, in the future, your children will have to manage all of the stuff you keep .

Step Two: Make a Plan

  • To begin, unlock all the reasons that are preventing you from de-cluttering. What do you keep, how do you keep it and why do you keep it?
  • Set some goals – what would you like to be different?
  • Make a plan. The best way is to set small, attainable goals. Focus on one room at a time. Set aside 15 minutes a day dedicated to getting rid of stuff. Gather one bag for donation to the Goodwill. Identify one drawer in a dresser that you are going to clean out.

Step 3: Develop Systems – Ways to Deal With Clutter

THE DISPOSAL DEPOT SYSTEM
Establish a clutter disposal depot in your garage comprised of five “R” boxes – for Return to Owner, Resell (garage sale or consignment), Reuse (items to give away to someone else or for Goodwill), Recycle, Rubbish.

THE CLOSET SYSTEM
Tackle only one closet at a time. Empty the whole closet and intentionally put clothes back that you know you will wear. Or, turn all of your hangers backwards; every time you wear an item turn the hanger forwards. You will soon be able to identify what items you wear and what items you don’t.

THE KITCHEN SYSTEM
Have things that you use most often in handy and easy to reach locations. The items you rarely use can be stored out of reach at the back of the top cupboard. Don’t let stuff you rarely use take up good cupboard space. A good trick to cleaning out your utensil drawer is to put all the items from the drawer in a box. As you need each utensil, wash it and put it back in the drawer. This soon identifies the utensils you use, and those you don’t. Items that you are not using on a daily basis should be stored in the cupboard, not on the counter. The kitchen often becomes a drop-off centre. Consciously store things where they belong. Kitchen stuff should be in the kitchen; bathroom stuff, in the bathroom; bills on/in your desk.

THE PAPER STREAMING SYSTEM
Don’t bring paper in the house that you will not read. Open your mail right over the recycling bin. Deposit all the newspaper flyers in the recycle bin before you bring the newspaper in the house. Once you bring paper inside the house, give it a home immediately. Create a filing system for all of your paper – a traditional filing cabinet works well. File your photographs, your recipes, children’s school papers, forms. Establish categories for anything that you use on a regular basis. Have a separate “to do” basket for anything that requires your immediate attention.

Avoid using paper products; use your computer when you can, and a chalkboard for notes. Get books from the library, instead of purchasing them. You can get a lot of information and recipes on the internet instead of purchasing magazines.

Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Related Posts

Posted in Home & Family, Wellness | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Warning: Debt reduction schemes can be too good to be true!

Posted on February 27, 2012 by Heather Cudmore
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

The recent Globe and Mail article “Beware the debt-reduction pitch”  cautioned about high pressure debt-reduction schemes that do not help and in fact may harm. The Financial Consumer Agency of Canada (FCAC) is warning Canadians to be very cautious about companies that claim they can negotiate a deal to cut the amount of debt you must repay to your creditors. This process is often called “debt reduction,” “debt settlement,” “debt relief” or “debt negotiation.” “Unfortunately, people do not always see the benefits that debt reduction companies lead them to expect—and some people wind up even deeper in debt than they were before,” says FCAC Commissioner Ursula Menke. “If an offer to reduce your debts seems too good to be true, it probably is.”

The Mosaic Credit Counselling team also expresses concern that individuals proceed with care when dealing with debt reduction companies. Mosaic credit counsellors have seen the results of individuals who have previously sought help from these debt relief operations only to find themselves in more desperate situations, having paid significant upfront fees. 
The FCAC Customer Alert  urges consumers to be aware of the following:

  • High-pressure sales tactics. Some debt reduction companies use aggressive, high-pressure tactics on the phone. If you get a telemarketing call, don’t agree to anything right away.
  • Unrealistic claims about slashing your debt. Many companies will claim they can work with your creditors to reduce your debts by a large percentage—maybe 60 percent or even more. However, there is no guarantee that your creditors will agree to reduce your debts. In fact, they may not even agree to participate in debt negotiations. You could end up paying fees for nothing.
  • Misleading information about protecting your credit rating. Another claim is that there won’t be any negative effect on your credit rating or score if you work with a debt reduction company. Some companies delay making payments to creditors for a few months in the hope of getting better results from negotiations to reduce your debts. If this happens, your creditors will usually report your missed payments and your credit rating will be damaged. You may also face late payment and interest charges.

Mosaic has offered not-for-profit credit counselling in the region for over 40 overs and is fully accredited with the Ontario Association of Credit Counselling Services.

Call us at any time if you have questions or concerns at 519-743-6333.

Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Related Posts

Posted in Credit Counselling | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

If You’re Celebrating a Love Relationship, You Don’t Have to Break the Bank on Valentine’s Day

Posted on January 27, 2012 by Heather Cudmore
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

So, go ahead, call me the Valentine’s Day Scrooge. Valentine’s Day may be identified as the celebratory day of love, but let’s do the math…and then let’s talk.

Have you ever wondered why flowers cost so much more on February 14th than any other day of the year?  In January, a dozen roses start at about $45.  A month later the prices have risen by about $15 – $20. That is about a 25% increase.  And then there are delivery costs of approximately $20.  Buying roses in February can cost anywhere from $80 to $100 – pretty steep for flowers. 

Now, let’s consider the expense of dining out on February 14th. Many restaurants have much more costly menus to celebrate this occasion. On the local radio station, they said that 40% of couples go out for Valentine’s Day and on average, they spend $150, where their average restaurant bill any other day is $40.

So considering the return on investment, is buying flowers or taking your partner to dinner on Valentine’s Day the only way to show your love and celebrate your relationship? What are some alternatives? I have a friend who celebrates Valentine’s Day on February 15th. He’s not cheap; he is smart. What difference does one day make?… about $50 or more in your pocket. Also, consider some creative alternatives. How about cooking dinner or baking cookies for your partner? Showing your love does not have to be costly and does not have to be limited to one day… in fact, it’s better to spread those affectionate moments throughout the year.

I’m not anti-love, just anti-Valentine’s Day especially when it comes to blowing the bank. Just remember, the good news is you have financial choices on how you wish to express your love on Valentine’s Day and all year long.

Bah humbug, Valentine’s Day!

Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Related Posts

Posted in Credit Counselling, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Five Tips to Avoid Unhealthy Conflict and Improve Work Relationships

Posted on January 26, 2012 by Kathie Must
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

February is the month to celebrate relationships!  Relationships sustain us and inspire us. So much of what we accomplish is done through relationships. Some of our relationships we choose and some are thrust upon us.

Like at work! Work relationships are important and valuable, however, they are also often complicated and imposed. Just the nature of the work environment adds complexity. There is much diversity — personal differences (age, gender, culture, personality) and professional differences (methodology, opinions, skills sets, approaches). With the pace of change in today’s workplaces, jobs and priorities evolve which can lead to further conflicting views and competition for resources. Mergers and acquisitions create new teams needing to quickly and effectively work together. And then, on top of all that, our individual capacity for give-and-take may be eroded from the sheer pace of change, the sense of urgency to get things done and rampant job insecurity. Layer on all the complexities from our personal lives, and work can be a hot bed of unhealthy conflict.

The sad reality for many workplaces is that many get stuck in unhealthy conflict that can snowball, leading to a poisoned work environment and even workplace violence. It can be a Health and Safety concern, and both employers and employees have responsibilities to keep workplaces safe and free from violence, and to create a healthy environment that fuels creativity, new ideas and deeper understanding.

To stop that downward spiral of unhealthy conflict and to create a healthy work environment that promotes inspiration, compassion and effective teamwork:

  1. Keep in mind all of the environmental factors above that contribute to workplace conflict. Recognizing the many influences that create workplace disparities helps us to be more understanding of different opinions and contrasting approaches. We are often quick to personalize and interpret all sorts of meaning which may be completely off base. Withhold judgement and adopt a problem-solving attitude.
  2. Don’t ignore conflict. Conflict seldom resolves itself. Ask for help. Your organization may have supports and a reporting process.
  3. Be alert and watchful of your own style and approach. So often, as a conflict is debriefed, individuals are initially surprised at the impact they have had, but after reflection, they develop an understanding. Be pro-active and recognize the influence you have.
  4. Hone your own conflict management skills. This skill set will serve you wherever you go and will enhance both your effectiveness and your enjoyment of the work you do.
  5. Remember that you are not an island. While it might be less problematic if you could pursue your own ideas and set your own priorities, to accomplish organizational goals, we need to work together and consider the ideas and priorities of the team.
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Related Posts

Posted in Relationships, Workplace | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

How to Avoid the 3 Common Relationship Deal Breakers

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Cecil Kuwabara
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

In this day and age, we are aware that many of our intimate relationships are struggling and are in jeopardy. Therefore, the age old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” is equally relevant today as it was when the saying was originally coined.
According to Stats Canada, approximately 38 % of marriages in Canada end in divorce (over a thirty year period). What preventative measure can young couples apply to their relationships that will ensure their stability and longevity?

There are three common relationship deal breakers – Compromise, Competition and Complaints which all contribute to conflict in relationships. Unto themselves, these interactions all sound relatively positive. Let’s examine them more carefully in the context of intimate relationships.

  1. Compromise is essentially when two people settle for less than what they really want. For example, a couple decides that they would like to go out to a movie. The wife would really like to see a particular movie but learns that her husband has no interest in watching it. He suggests a movie which his wife has no interest in watching. In the name of compromise, they end up attending a third choice which neither really wants to view. Instead of compromising, the couple could use a more effective approach called negotiating which produces a win/win situation. The couple decides to attend the movie which the woman wants to see one week, and the following week, they go to the movie the husband wants to see.
  2. Competition is very much a part of our every day, capitalistic society. We all need to know how to compete in order to function in our society. People on a daily basis are competing for jobs, opportunities, recognition, etc.  However, competition within our intimate relationships can potentially wreak havoc between couples since the more competitive we are, the more self-centred we become. Competition emphasizes our goals and enhances our skills often to the detriment of our significant relationships. The opposite of competition is compassion. Compassion is the skill or ability to accurately experience the thoughts and feeling of another plus the desire to do whatever is necessary to help another in their time of distress. Many relationships would greatly benefit if there was simply more compassion between spouses.
  3. Complaints definitely lead to the deterioration of a relationship. The complaints may be true, but one must ask, “Are the complaints kind and necessary?” Listening to problems demoralizes us; where, talking about and applying solutions energizes us.

So what are those ounces of prevention we can apply to our relationships to ensure they remain stable and satisfying? 

  1. Learn to negotiate.
  2. Be compassionate and listen to the thoughts and feelings of your loved ones.
  3. Rather than complain, become a problem-solver.
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Related Posts

Posted in Relationships, Wellness | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Resolution #1: Financial Fitness!

Posted on December 28, 2011 by Heather Cudmore
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

January…. oh…. the time for New Year’s resolutions, the time to throw out the old and start with the new, the time to really look at our unhealthy habits. Most people will try to exercise more (those gyms are really busy in January), or even eat healthier. Working in the credit counselling field, I suggest that you resolve to consider improving your financial knowledge. Maybe it is reviewing your money and spending habits or maybe it is examining ways to reduce your debt.

Almost every day, we hear reports that the average Canadian has more debt. More and more people are living paycheque to paycheque. What can you do to improve your financial situation? The first thing to do is to stop avoiding the numbers and actually look at your finances. What is your income? What are your fixed monthly expenses? What are your variable expenses? Variable expenses are things like food, gas, clothes or entertainment – you spend some money on it, but not the same every month.

Once you have a picture of that, you may find out that you are spending more than you make. That means back to the drawing board to reassess all your bills. You probably cannot reduce your fixed expenses a whole lot. You cannot lower your mortgage or your car payment. But, can you reduce your internet, phone, cable? How about bundling all the services together and receiving a discount? Can you reduce your gas costs? Could you car pool with someone and cut those gas expenses in half? How about cooking from scratch instead of ordering-in? Are you willing to give up your morning coffee run? This is where you can be creative because every cent that you reduce here can be allocated somewhere else. At the end of this exercise, you will have money left over. Put some of it away for an emergency fund and then tackle your debt.

Your credit cards, store cards, personal lines of credit all have to be assessed. What are the balances? What are the interest rates?

There are really two theories to managing debt. Both start out by giving the minimum payment to each creditor. If you do not pay the minimum payment, it will affect your credit rating. After the minimum payment is made, theory one suggests taking the smallest debt and putting all your extra money towards that debt. If you need to see success to keep motivated, this method is for you. Hopefully after a couple of months, you have dispensed with one debt and you can start working on the next smallest debt.

For theory two, you look at the interest rate of each debt and your extra money goes to the debt with the highest interest rate. Using this method, you are getting the full value out of your payment, but that debt may take 8 months to pay off. Anytime you are paying more than the minimum payment to your debt, you are on the right track.

If you are able to work on the above, you are improving your finances (Resolution #1). You also will be learning about your unproductive money management habits, and in doing so, can generate change. And, ultimately you are going to reduce your debt.

Have a happy, financially fit New Year!

Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Related Posts

Posted in Credit Counselling, Home & Family, Wellness | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Be SMART About New Year’s Resolutions

Posted on December 22, 2011 by Kathie Must
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

There is something about a new year that compels us to set resolutions to make big improvements in our lives! But, many New Year’s resolutions are broken before January is even over, and we feel worse than had we not set a resolution.  The “just do it” approach may serve to sell Nike, but it doesn’t set the scene for sustainable personal change.

In our work life, however, we make plans, set goals and manage to get things done. This year I plan to apply some of the principles of business planning to personal changes.  Business planning involves big goals that are broken down into smaller achievable steps often using the SMART system, with goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.

A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. A more specific goal than just “get in shape” might be “exercise regularly.” A good goal is also measurable. When you measure your progress, you stay on track. It’s about “how much” — “exercise three times a week.”

It must be achievable with reasonable steps and a time frame. If you set a goal that fits into your schedule – “exercise at lunch three days a week” – it’s more likely to be successful.  It must also be realistic: something  that you are both willing and able to manage. Interestingly, sometimes a difficult goal is easier to reach than an easy one because there is greater motivation.  Building strength — moving from 3 lb weights to 5 lb weights — is hard but possible, and doing it with work friends, with mutual support and encouragement, makes it even more attainable.

Finally, it must be timely to give it some urgency. I want to lose 10 inches by June 1st – 2 inches each month.

And, I’ll try similar approaches to monitoring. If I am on track, I’ll reward myself. A mani/pedi will do it for me! If I find I’m not on track, rather than just “trying harder,” I will try to shift strategies a bit.

Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Related Posts

Posted in Wellness | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Say “No” to “Wind Chill” Factor

Posted on December 20, 2011 by Jennifer Berry
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

A number of years ago, I heard a commentator speaking about the wind chill factor and questioning why, as Canadians, we always like to make it sound colder than it really is. “It’s zero degrees, but with the wind chill factor, it feels like –10 degrees.” He proposed that we get rid of the wind chill factor and instead, adopt these three factors.

#1  The Sunshine Factor
It’s -10 degrees, but if you are standing directly in the suns rays, it feels like 0 degrees.

#2 The Shelter Factor
It’s -10 degrees, but if you are in an area sheltered from the wind, it feels like 0 degrees.

#3 The Activity Factor
It’s -10 degree, but if you are doing an activity out-of-doors, it feels like 0 degrees.

Rather than just dream about the prospect of warmer weather, let’s defeat old man winter by finding ways to enjoy winter instead of just tolerating it until springtime. A good way to start doing this is to strike the term “wind chill factor” from your vocabulary and opt for the sunshine, shelter and activity factors instead.

Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Related Posts

Posted in Wellness | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Are you feeling stressed out about the holiday season?

Posted on November 29, 2011 by Jennifer Berry
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

During the holidays, we often set impossible standards and place unrealistic demands on ourselves in an attempt to provide and enjoy the perfect season. Rather than enjoy, however, we feel stress about the shopping, the spending, holiday events, and pleasing others. Here are some tips to help you de-stress and find the joy in the holiday season:

Prioritize. Decide what is really important. Before the holidays, ask yourself, what are my priorities for Christmas, what do I want to happen for me and what do I want to happen for my family. Decide what really needs to be done and what is just superficial.

Get your sleep. Any disruption in sleep patterns affects our well-being, temperament and ability to deal with daily challenges. Pay attention to your body and go to bed when you are tired. If you are struggling with getting to sleep, incorporate some of these rituals:

  • Make a priority list in the early evening for the next day so that you don’t have to create the list in your mind during the middle of the night.
  • Plan a quiet experience at the end of each day with low lights.
  • Turn off the TV one hour earlier than normal.
  • Have a hot bath prior to bed.
  • Listen to soothing music.
  • Read – if only a page.
  • Try relaxation tapes, deep-breathing exercises and visualization.

Watch what you eat and drink. Limit sweets and late night eating. Avoid eating large quantities or rich foods after 8:00 p.m. Limit alcohol consumption. After a glass of wine, switch to water. Stay hydrated.

Exercise. Don’t let go of your healthy lifestyle because it’s the holidays. Make sure you get outside for some exercise and fresh air. Try incorporating exercise into your holiday events. Go for a walk to see the lights in Waterloo or Victoria Park.

Learn to say “no” or “yes” to less. For example, you can say, “Yes, I’ll do Christmas, but we’ll do potluck” or “Yes, I’ll have people in, but we’ll have dessert and coffee, not dinner.”

Set a budget.  Set financial priorities. Consider drawing names to take the pressure off both your pocketbook and the amount of time you need to dedicate to shopping and wrapping.

Think small. Everything does not have to be big and lavish. Time together is more important than what you do or give. A simple evening with a friend or family decorating the tree, listening to carols, drinking apple cider and watching a holiday movie can bring great joy and meaning to the season.

Don’t over-schedule. Make sure you still have down-time to curl up with a cup of tea and a good book.

Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email

Related Posts

Posted in Home & Family, Wellness | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment